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I've Finally Come Up to Breathe...

March 22, 2020


Dear Readers,

I have finally come up to breathe.  Barely.  These have been some of the most trying weeks I have ever faced in my entire life.  Personally and professionally I have been asked to transform.  And I know I can do it.  I am prepared to face this challenge and lead colleagues and citizens with my skill-set and knowledge. But I just can't explain how hard this has been.

Reflecting on my experiences I realize that I am fortunate to have had the coursework in achieving my Ed Tech Specialist endorsement from UVM.  I am prepared and have what I need to engage in "remote learning".  At this point, my students have engaged in hours of technology tools in my classroom and most have shown proficiency in many of the programs I have introduced.  Google Classroom has continued and many are engaging using google hangouts and chat.  Docs are being shared and feedback is being given.  Questions are being answered and connections are being made.  And then comes equity...

At 5:00 pm we were told that the following Monday we would need to prepare for "remote learning" and that we would also have students until Wednesday.  How does one get ready for such a transformation in learning in such a short period of time?  The students that attended school received packets and projects and resources that were pulled together when adults were panicking and 50% of our population came to school.  No one could define "remote learning" and teachers knew that they had to stay calm so their students could stay calm.  Lots of deep breathing.

We were professionals.  We sent letters and projects and passwords.  And now some students are still engaging, one even daily video calls me (bless her heart!) and most email asking to say hello and clarifying assignments.  But what about the students that I call and they don't answer?  We are calling every day to check in and say hello.  What about the kids that didn't have someone advocate to bring home a Chromebook.  Many students were notified about the free wifi that has been offered by several companies, but many were not "allowed" to bring home their Chromebooks.  This reminds me of the true definition of 1:1 technology and SACS is still falling behind in this area, although I hope they reconsider after my "call for change" proposal to allow students school Chromebook access.

Oh and also, I often feel like I'm drowning.  I went in on Friday to support the efforts to get student packets out to everyone and watching adults nosily walk around with no direction or drive.  I watched people judge and criticize and mention contracts.  I read an email from my daughter's doctor that says no one from house anymore because of her asthma diagnosis (I guess it's considered a "chronic health condition" and puts her at high risk with any respiratory illness).  My husband is considering not going to work which would mean not getting paid.  And I have a father that has sent me the most hateful messages and demeaning comments.

In this trying time I just keep telling my kids, "we can do hard things" and "together, we can do it!" and I just hope that the discussion of digital equity can continue because with that, "remote learning" can be extended and enhanced to ALL of my students.  I want to ensure that my family is cared for and our health comes first.  I know I can lead this charge and support my colleagues and look forward to showing them all that I know!  I am thankful for this coursework.


~Ashley  

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